I love lilacs.
Sooo something awesome has just happened…
Because I was under 18 while my mom was on disability I’m entitled to $8,905. I’m splitting it with my sister, but damn, that’s still a lot of free money.
The way people think is maddening,
I know.
The way people speak is saddening,
I know.
We put forth so much less
than we are,
and when we put forth more
then we are
(forever)
then we are
(new)
then we are
(happy).
Can’t you see?
That you’re blind in too many ways
so set in sad
that you’ve buried your heart
under obligations and rules
followed to a T, because suddenly
wisdom wasn’t enough.
Or maybe, it was,
and you turned the wrong key.
Now the answer lays
on the bottom of your ocean floor
where sea-filled light and
bitter-cold silence could make
anyone else drown into serenity.
It’s all in you,
the seeds are sowed,
but again and again
you’ve salted the earth
and now nothing can grow
unless you flip the dormant switch
lose sense of self,
fall into nothing,
pitch black
cosmos of your own
where sight can be restored
and rain will be beauty
earth, stability,
and silence - your mind.
My happiness has a direct correlation to the amount of tea I drink that day.
The only bad thing I can mention about having pet rats is that they’re too affectionate. They just wanna be in my face giving me kisses all the time. I love it but I’m trying to write a paper, gahhh.
I spent my day alone, in the local forest preserve. It was absolutely wonderful. I set up my hammock, smoked a bit, and read my book. Then I searched for a good 10 minutes for a tree that called to me. After finding it, I meditated under it for an hour or so. I got some writing done as well :)
I saw
- 5 species of finch
- 4 species of woodpecker
- Cardinals
- Blue Jays
- A Hawk, though I’m not sure what kind
- A Great Blue Heron
It’s wrong I know,
but every string
between them and me
makes me feel like I’m drowning
and when I try to make sight
I can find nothing,
but wanting
and unwanting.
Too much hurt,
for one focus of my thought.
